


Remembering the Forgotten

by SymbioticAntithesis



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2014!Cas, End!verse, Episode: s05e04 The End, Introspection, M/M, POV Second Person, Second person POV, future!cas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-20 10:22:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/886136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SymbioticAntithesis/pseuds/SymbioticAntithesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seeing past Dean makes Cas remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembering the Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this post and those tags](http://endversecas.tumblr.com/post/54014082695/wintergirl-speaks-boazpriestly-id-just).

You stare at him for a moment, in awe, and you remember why you did everything you did to get you to this impossible situation.  You remember why you fell for this man in every way possible.  You fell from Heaven because he taught you to love humanity.  You fell in love with his soul, beautiful and brilliant despite the loss and hardships he endured in his short life.  And you fell into the muddled mess of mankind because you would follow him to the ends of the Earth.

Then you started to wonder if it was worth it, losing your Grace, losing your sense of self.  So you drowned yourself in booze, drugs, and women - because that’s what  _he_  did when he didn’t want to feel, when he wanted to forget.

Now with past Dean staring at you with earnest eyes, you remember.  You remember why you gave up everything for this man, this human who, in the grand scheme of things, was an insignificant speck in the history of the Earth, of the angels.  But he is so much more than that, isn’t he?

And oh, how you wish - not for the first time, nor for the last - that you could see that shining soul again, that you were still an angel fighting for free will and choice, for humanity.

But you also realize, that this Dean is not your Dean; your Dean is a broken, hardened soul, twisted into something that even you may not bear to look upon if you could.  Your Dean is nothing like the Dean standing in front of you.  Your Dean, though you love him with everything you have left to give, is not the Dean you initially fell in love with.

And you suddenly wish somehow, someway, you could keep past Dean for yourself.  Keep him like this forever; his humility, his compassion, his love.

But you know you can’t, so instead you ask past Dean how he came to this future, and laugh when he asks you to “strap on your angel wings".  You laugh because this Dean still has an angel Castiel by his side, you laugh because you try so hard to forget but you can’t, you laugh because it hurts.

And you wish so damned much that things could be different.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I made myself sad.


End file.
